I flipped a chocolate chip cookie on the floor tonight. Blew it off, but then caution or good sense guided me to the trash can where my cookie now lies in repose. I would like to say my decision was made after careful deliberation for my health and not the fact that I had at least twelve dozen more readily available to me. The outcome may have been different if it was ― you know what I’m going to tell you…my very last cookie.
A minute later I flipped an entire glob of my favorite, black cherry, jello on the floor – the same spot, I swear. I said aloud and with more than a little solemnity, “Five second rule?” Seriously? For jello? But, in my defense, the cookie was flat; the jello was globular, ergo a large portion of it was not really touching anything but air. Is air near the floor dirtier than air at head level? I’d never had a need to consider this question in all my years of inquisitiveness, and I really would like to know. I may have to thank God tonight in my prayers for making us bipeds.
Back to the jello, my dilemma was figuring out a way to remove the good jello on top from the bad, germy jello on the bottom. It is quite squiggly, as you are aware. Where is an engineer when you need one. I sighed and gave it up to the garbage disposal. I had one more serving in the bowl so my ordeal was survivable, albeit much more dire than the cookie situation.
I don’t know about you, but when I get like this, I watch my food extremely closely for the next few hours. I become obsessively nervous if I am moving about with food in my hands, and my eyes do not waiver from it. I could trip over the cat or walk into furniture but the edibles will have my full attention. Transporting soup really freaks me out.
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