Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category


My shadow has enveloped me,
swallowed every particle that
once was identifiable.
If you wonder where I am…
I don’t know.
I don’t know, and I have
no voice to call out.
My senses are lost to me.
No one can touch me.
My eyes stare into empty spaces.
I have no physical sense of hunger.
I exist in a vacuum…

This is a desolate place and
I have overstayed my time.
Everything here is wrong, and
I am discomfited by my circumstance.
Once I was stronger and vigorous.
Now there is no one left,
but God himself, to save me.
But I am unconcerned.
He has done so before and
will again, and I am…


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Santa Claus

It’s time again for my annual reminder to check out http://www.northpole.com

This site is pure magic for little kids and everyone.  All kinds of activities, stories, and games to delight all ages.  Recipes from Mrs. Claus’s kitchen for moms and dads.  Toys and gift ideas, crafts, write to Santa, visit Santa’s reindeer, watch NORAD track Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.  Your little ones will be entertained for hours.

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I don’t remember anything about my arrival at York Hospital but I must have been conscious because according to Jess they were not at all happy to see me and I kept trying to take my clothes off. What I remember is waking up hours later in a very odd triangular room that looked nothing like a hospital room. There were many people around me talking, none of whom I knew. I didn’t see my kids anywhere, but it seemed late and I guessed they must have driven back to Gettysburg. I touched my hair and it felt like cement which somewhat alarmed and confused me further. I wondered why it was like that for a few seconds and then I was out again.

In the morning Jess and Cameron returned. It was now Monday, seven days since I began my visit to the dark side. Cameron was his usual sweet self. Jess seemed a little put out with me. With hands on her hips she began, “You know, you can’t tell anyone your freaking name but you are able to describe your doctor in great detail.”

I had no idea what she was talking about. I didn’t remember even seeing a doctor, yet this came out of my mouth, “Yes, he was tall with dark skin. I think he was Indian and he had nice teeth.” I thought what the hell am I talking about?

But Jess answered, “Yes, that would be him…and another thing, I really didn’t appreciate you calling me last night at 2:30 am to tell me they had tied you to your bed.”

I had no recollection of calling her and briefly wondered how I had managed that, but again, words flowed with no provocation from me. I said, “Well, they did.”

She swore to me, “They absolutely did not tie you to your bed.”

We argued about this for a time and she tried to convince me it was those crazy leg things they put on you that are connected to a machine for the purpose of pumping up and preventing blood clots. I realized much, much later than she had to be correct as they are no longer permitted to tie down patients. They use bed alarms. As in Gettysburg, they had my bed alarm on. Basically, if you stick your big toe over the edge of the bed, the silent alarm goes off and nurses come running to see what you are trying to do and either help you or stick all your toes back where they belong. I kept them busy.

The kids told me a nurse had given me a bath upon my arrival in York…and washed my hair, which explained the concrete feeling. Apparently rinsing was beyond the call of duty. I really had needed (more…)

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Elan Mudrow



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