Posts Tagged ‘cats’

“Don’t spray that crap on me again. It stinks, and I’m tired of licking it off.”

“Are you awake? I’m awake. Are you getting up soon? I’m starving and I want to eat three little pieces of food.”

“Watch out. Someone vomited in the dining room. It wasn’t me.”

“Why can’t I lay on you? You let the other girls lay on you. What? I weigh seventeen pounds? Well, whose fault is that?”

“I’m very bored. Play with me.”

“I told you I liked Quaker Cheddar Rice Cakes. Why can’t you ever believe me when I tell you things?”

“I have a headache and need a nap. Don’t try to find me.”

“You’re going out again? You just came home!”

“Turn on the shower for me. And warm it up please.”

“We want to look out the big front window, and you have filled it up with plants. What is wrong with you?”

“Remember that time a bird flew into the house?”

“The neighbor’s cat visited again today. She ate one of your little voles in the backyard. I don’t like her.”

“I know I liked these treats yesterday, but now I don’t.”

“When did I ever tell you I wanted another cat?”

“I stare at unseen objects because I have special vision, and, no, I’m not telling you what is up there.”

“If you try to trim my claws, I will twist myself up like a pretzel. You know I can do it.”

“I would not have run if you hadn’t chased me.”


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Lethargy, love it

now just need a good excuse

for being a sloth


Purring comforts me

the vibration a soft hum



I was a goddess

long ago when youth graced me

and all things were mine


My diamonds and pearls

not as beautiful as you

dear child of my heart


Beer, wine, whiskey too

fuels the fire within my brain

and makes me stupid


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Katie and Max


Katie woke up from her nap and padded into the kitchen for a snack.  Max was there, staring out the patio door.  He yawned and turned as she joined him.

Katie asked, “Where’s Mom?”


“Out where?”

He barked at her, “How should I know.  She just said she’d be back soon.”

Katie considered this as Max threw himself down and began enthusiastically washing.

“Must you do that right now,” she asked?   “You know I hate it.”

“You don’t have to watch.”

“You’re disgusting.”

Max stopped for a moment and considered her remark.  “Where did you learn that word?”

Katie gave him a haughty look and answered, “I was watching TV and figured it out.”

Curious, Max wondered, “What does it mean?”

“It means vile, nauseating.”

He stared at her blankly.

She helpfully added, “It means you.”

He resumed his manic washing.

Katie loudly pronounced something that sounded like “Meeuuccckkk!”

Barely stopping, Max told her, “I don’t know why you’re so prissy (a word Mommy often called Katie).  You do it too.”

“I don’t do it in public, you moron.”

Max didn’t bother asking what moron meant.

As she continued to huff and puff at him, he gave up on his nether parts.  Looking around, he stood and said, “Fine, I’ll go check out the garbage.”

“You’ll get in trouble,” Katie told him in an irksome, sing-song little voice.

“Do I look like I care?  What’s she going to do?  Yell at me again?”

A moment later, the garbage only slightly disturbed, a key turned in the front door.  Katie and Max raced each other to arrive first.

Mom was home.  She greeted them as always, “There are my babies.  What have you guys been up to?  Have you been good?  Have you been good babies?”

“Wooof, woof, woof.  Meoowww, mew, meow,” they answered raucously.

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Elan Mudrow


Fred Colton

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